i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
