walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
