? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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