my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
