Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
