Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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