Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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