marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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