If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize