If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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