I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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