His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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