Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize