After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
