so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
