roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
