Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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