Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
