There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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