I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
