We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
