is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
