ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
