Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
