Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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