I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
