I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
