my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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