I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
