Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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