For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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