I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
