Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
