That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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