guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
