let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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