Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
As shirtless as possible
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
