haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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