i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize