remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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