I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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