I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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