Fuck appropriateness.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
