Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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