idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
