I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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