Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think i have two assholes
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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