Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I smell like Dick and happiness
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
