honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
