Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just googled if crying burns calories
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize