And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sorry about my life...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
