That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
