Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
