So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
