if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
