I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
