i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
