why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
