More tranny stories later!
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
