Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
