i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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