so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
