My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
