Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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